A Travelin’ Girl Needs Space

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There’s something horribly unsettling (maybe I’m spoiled) about curling up on a public bus wondering if the person sitting next to you made that awful smell or if they are going to sleep on your shoulder or if they are the next zodiac killer…these are all things that run through my head.

My frequent trips to D.C. (yes ladies and gents, 4.5 hours on a stuffy, stinky bus) have been worth it, there’s no doubt. Yet, there’s something so idyllic about the comfort of a seat in your own car…your couch…your recliner…YOU DON’T NEED TO SHARE WITH STRANGERS. Well, unless you want to.

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Here are some tips and tricks to give yourself the most possible space and ward off the seat hogs, droolers and the like.

  1. Cough. Cough so horribly that people can’t help but think you’re going to give them swine flu. For effect, announce to your neighbor that you’ve just gotten over the WORST cold. It was SO awful.
  2. Phone a Friend. “No. You’re skinnier. Stop. STOP! You’re, like, the skinniest. NO. You are SO much prettier.”
  3. Starfish. Flail your arms and legs out like the little sea creature we know and love, noodling your limbs into the seat next to you. If anyone debates sitting down, flail further.
  4. Bus Buddies! Make BEST friends and talk about your entire day!
  5. Take the armrest. The middle one. Lean on it. You know you want to.
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Dusting Blog Cobwebs

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I suppose I haven’t blogged in a while. I suppose I haven’t done a lot of other things, either….like sleep, do my laundry, eat froyo (lies…definitely got some yesterday). I accepted a job in publishing in February, and life has been pretty busy every since. I guess I should have announced that on here at some point, but writing tons of blogs and press releases every day for others sort of sucks the fun out of doing it when you get home. Is it glamorous? Nope. Pays well? No, not really. Worth it? Definitely.

The past few months have contained a lot of firsts. First apartment, first time living in New York, first time holding a full-timer in publishing, first time living with Miss T.R. Wallace, first time having an intern, first time getting yelled at in all caps via e-mail…repeatedly, first time assembling an Ikea couch….that might be the best one. Stick figure instructions? NOT HELPFUL.

However, the bottle of wine consumed during assembly did wonders…they should really include that in the box.

The fact that this blog isn’t (and was never really) anonymous encourages me to hold my tongue about a lot of things (including some great inside scoop), but there’s plenty to be shared nonetheless.

For starters, there’s a time to state your case at work, and there’s a time to roll over. Sometimes a little nugget or misread email becomes WWIII, and it’s just not worth engaging. Don’t worry…privately, you never have to relinquish the fact that you’re still right.

Enjoy the free coffee. Drinking it will save you the $15 per-week (at LEAST) you spend at Starbuck’s or that little hipster café every morning. Stop it.

Be pleasant. It always serves you well. Until you have to be a bitch…then own it.